Limbic Resonance: What Did You Learn Growing Up?

Limbic resonance is the brain’s ability to sense unspoken dynamics in relationships. Growing up, my limbic brain got plenty of reps watching how my dad related to my mom, and how our family behaved at home versus outside. Our brains were “sniffing out” the emotional environment constantly, even when words weren’t exchanged. For example, the tension in the house, how problems were avoided or confronted, and whether we felt safe or manipulated all shaped the way we learned to resonate with others.

Reflect on your own upbringing. What was your heart sniffing out in your home over and over? Did your family rely on workarounds to avoid dealing with emotions directly? Were you controlled or manipulated, or was there a sense of safety and comfort? These early relational experiences trained your brain to navigate the world in a certain way, and they continue to influence how you relate to others today.

Thought Questions:

1. What unspoken emotional patterns or dynamics did you pick up on in your family while growing up, and how do you think they shaped how you relate to others now?

2. Did your family tend to avoid or confront emotional issues? How has this influenced how you handle emotions in your current relationships?

3. When you think back on your childhood, did you feel emotionally safe, or were there moments where you felt controlled or manipulated? How might these experiences affect how you interact with others today?

Written by Colton Shannon, PhD and Alex Courington, MFT