52 - The 12 Movements: #2 A Man Faces and Struggles Being a Work in Progress

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at bryan@vothcenter.com.

A man faces and struggles with being a work in progress by admitting and struggling to accept that “clumsy is as good as we are ever going to become.”

Though we carry eternity in our hearts and the picture of perfection in our hearts, we cannot achieve it.

A man faces four realities and perseveres in the midst of them and in spite of them:

1. Mistakes are inevitable and yet a man continues to pursue living fully, loving deeply, and leading well so that he leaves a positive legacy.

2. We all have to live life on life’s terms. Life is tragic and God is faithful. We have to struggle with that conflict, without becoming resigned or giving up.

3. Everything in life is practice. We never get to stop needing to ask questions and learning how to live.

4. It takes a lifetime to learn how to live.

Remember that the movements are not a “twelve steps list.” They don’t work as an ordinal ranking, checking one off and then going to the next, and then assuming that you are done.

The Twelve Movements of a Man’s Life:

● offer a “path” not a “pill.”

● offer a process of how to live so that a man offers his best to who he loves and what he loves.

● require that a man submits to the reality of how life works. No one “beats” life or changes how it works.

Samuel Beckett said, “We are on earth, and there is no cure for that.” However, the courageous struggle to succeed in the midst of life’s realities; therefore, the twelve movements are not about perfection, but about living with passion, intimacy, and integrity.

A man will leave a positive legacy when he is:

● living fully

● loving deeply

● leading well

This man will exhibit:

● passion

● intimacy

● integrity

A man must bring these three characteristics to each movement.

Remember that God controls the process of life. Listen to Episodes 23 and 24, “Trust the Process” Parts 1 & 2 for a better understanding.

A man or woman, who lives with passion, intimacy, and integrity is a competent person; therefore, a successful person.

These people tend to exhibit three things:

Courage: They exhibit full-hearted participation in life.

Curiosity: They ask questions and struggle to receive answers. They exhibit wonder.

Compassion: They have empathy, which is to know one’s own griefs and celebrations, which leads them to care about others’ griefs and celebrations, which is compassion. They care.

Courage + Curiosity + Compassion = Competence

This Competence is the ability to live well as a human being, regardless of what specific skills someone excels in doing, as in skill of a surgeon or skill of a professional athlete. This area of competence is that of being good at being human.

A Competent person is also a successful person. Success is much more than the scoreboard of “winners and losers.” Success is marked by desiring to be a good person, a contributor to making life better.

Successful people have desire and pursue it, and they contend with obstacles and challenges that are inevitable without giving up.

If a person is competent, they are “officially” successful, regardless of what the scoreboard says.

For example: a person who trains for a race, shows up for the race, and runs is successful, regardless of the ranking they receive at the end of the race.

Basically, a competent and successful person gives their heart to living Philippians 4:8.

They pursue “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable,” excellent or praiseworthy. (Philippians 4:8 NIV)

With that understood, a man of competence brings himself to facing and struggling with being a work in progress. He contends with life and all of its imperfections, heartaches, and heartbreaks, and still perseveres.

This man faces and struggles with four realities that no man overcomes and yet he continues to persevere.

The Four Realties:

1) Clumsy is as good we will ever be. Regardless of our greatest plans, we will always be contending with mistakes. (the Titanic sank; the space shuttle blew up, etc.) We will never achieve perfection. As humans, we are all like “giraffes running on ice” in our pursuit of a full life. The mark of competence and success is that we continue to persevere.

2) We have to live life on life’s terms. Life is tragic. That is reality. There is also this truth in the midst of life’ tragedies: God is faithful. We humans must be courageous enough to struggle with the reality of life and fight for the experience of knowing that God is with us in the midst of life’s tragedies. Life’s terms require that we struggle with feelings and faith, desire and despair, hope and loss—yet continue to persevere. We do so with the aid of others and the experience of God. The mark of competence and success is that we continue to “ask, seek, and knock” with our hearts to gain courage and strength. We need courage and strength to live fully and love deeply in the midst of life’s terms. We keep digging up the weeds that could choke out the “good” crops that we plant. Weeds are always with us.

3) Everything about our lives is practice. No matter how hard we strive to have ultimate completion and arrive at “perfect,” we will not get there. But will we continue to practice? Will we keep moving towards our destination? Doctors are practicing. It is called the practice of medicine. Lawyers are practicing. Parents are practicing. People are practicing. So are children. We all have to practice learning how to live well. But are we doing so with competence and success? Are we showing up on the “field” every day and giving ourselves to the practice of living? If so, we are successful because we are persevering towards the “goal” of perfection, knowing that we will never fully arrive this side of heaven.

4) It takes a lifetime to learn how to live. No one is an exception to this reality. We remain human all of our lives. No one arrives at the end of life with all the answers and gets to share their experience of being finished. At the age of eight, thirty-eight, and seventy-eight, we are still learning how to live. We are still asking the same questions—if we have the humility to admit them. We want to know, “Will it hurt? How much longer do I need to wait? Will you be with me?” Are we willing to continue to ask the questions and stay in the struggle of life regardless of our age? The willingness to ask questions about life and living, and the willingness to stay in the struggle of living fully and loving deeply, marks a person as competent and successful.

No one overcomes these 4 realities. If we face them and struggle to remain works in progress, we actually can accept that we are perfectly imperfect; therefore, we can remain humble enough to need help so we can persevere in our heart’s pursuits.

Chapter 11 of the book of Hebrews is a great testament of this very struggle. Imperfect people were living in the perseverance of faith, in a tragic place. They continued to be “sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see,” (Hebrews 11:1, NIV) even as they faced death. They continued to cling to the promises of a faithful God in the midst of reality. They were competent and successful people living fully in relationship with their own hearts, with the promises of God, and with each other. They persevered through relationship. They struggled daily with being works in progress. Reality did not destroy their desire to live fully, love deeply, and lead well lives that left positive legacies, as they persevered towards their own self-fulfillment.

Being a work in progress is not failure. It is permission to grow.

In order to grow, we must remain willing to live fully:

● in relationship with our own hearts

● with others

● and with God

No one achieves perfection. We can continue, though, to persevere through our willingness to be in need of God and others.

Perseverance is the strength we need to acquire as we live as works in progress.

To persevere we must continue to grow in:

● Passion: the willingness to be in pain for something that matters more than the pain.

● Intimacy: the willingness for our hearts to be known and the willingness to seek out the hearts of others who are willing to be known. We also must be willing and able to bring our hearts to the heart of God, who desires for us to know Him.

● Integrity: the willingness to continue to become truthful and trustworthy.

A man who is willing to face and struggle with being a work in progress is a man who is competent and successful. He perseveres in the midst of a tragic place.